Deathbed Promises PART 1 & 2
by One Unique Girl
Summary: TWO-SHOT! It's been 80 years since Ed left Bella in the forest and now Bella an old woman on her death bed writing a letter to the two most important people in her life. Will a visit from friends give her the closure she needs and who will they call in to say a proper goodbye. And what will await B on the other side?
1. Promise Me

**A/N (If you've seen Supernatural S5 then you'll know how heaven works for them, well that is sort of what I used for this one shot. So when you think of Bella's heaven I want you to think of the meadow, prom, they're first date after Edward saved Bella from those three men. And their first kiss and any other time they were together.)**

***~*~*~*Summary*~*~*~***

**It was 2008 when Edward left Bella in the woods; 80 years later Bella's on her death bed. Can a visit from two old friends bring her the happiness she needs to pass over peacefully or will who they call make it harder. And what will await Bella in heaven.**

***~*~*~*One-Shot*~*~*~***

**Isabella Swan**

"I hope you like your new room, Ms Swan." My perky nurse, Erin said while closing the blinds. "I'll be sure to bring some flowers in tomorrow to brighten the room a little." She said cheerfully before coming over to take my hand. "Are you sure there isn't anything I can get you?"

I nodded my head tiredly. "I'm sure dear, thank you." She got a little teary eyed when I started coughing. "Please don't worry about me sweetheart, I've lived my life now it's my time to go."

She nodded and held my hand in hers. "I know but I just wish… "

"I know." I said cutting her off. "But I'm fine just being by myself; it's always been that way."

She kissed my hand when her pager went off. "You're not by yourself; I'll be here with you until the end. I'll see you during my break."

I nodded and watched her walk to the door. "Wait, can you send someone in with a note book and pen?" I asked reaching over for the small water bottle.

"I will, Bella."

She was a real treat, probably because she reminded me so much of Alice. She would always come skipping into the room first thing in the morning before she signed into work and she'd always come back after her shift and tell me about her day.

Alice, I miss her so very much.

"Ms Swan, I have the notepad and pen you requested." I looked up to see Blake standing at the end of the bed holding up the notepad and packet of pens. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good considering I'm dying." I laughed holding out my hand. "Thank you dear, do you think you could maybe get my iPod out of the top draw for me."

He nodded and grabbed the iPod and plugged it into the speakers. "You know for something so old it's really quite beautiful." He commented as Debussy filled the air.

I chuckled and took the lid off the pen. "Of course it is, Clair De Lune is an ageless tune. The classic's never die, my dear." I closed my eyes and let the music take me back to when Edward used to play for me.

"I'll see you later, Ms Swan." Blake said patting my hand before leaving. I sighed and watched him leave closing the door behind him, lately I'd been letting myself think about Edward more and more and to my surprise it didn't hurt like it used to.

It would seem that thinking about the Cullen's has put me at some sort of ease.

_Year 2106, February 5__th_

_To My Dearest Alice_

_I don't know if you'll get this, or if you'll even see me writing it. But I'm going to write this anyway, I have things I need to tell you._

_First off I want to tell you how much I miss you, you're my best friend and that'll never change no matter how long we've been apart. If by some chance you see me writing this then you'll know where I am and you'll come and say goodbye._

_I'm dying Ali and I'm ashamed to say I'm scared, I will understand if you don't come and see me one last time. So if you don't come hopefully you'll still get this, and know how much I miss not only you but all of you._

_I miss Carlisle and the way he used to smile kindly whenever I came to the house, I miss the way he'd shake his head whenever I tripped and chuckled whenever he saw I had a new bruise from falling._

_I miss Esme and the loving hugs she used to give me whenever she saw me; I miss how she used to cook for me whenever I came over for the day. I love Esme as if she was a mother and I'll always love and think of her as such._

_I miss Emmett and the way he used to tease me about everything just to see me blush, I miss the way he would pick me up in a bear hug and swing me around and I miss the cute double dimple smile he'd wear whenever Carlisle or Edward would scold him for being so rough._

_And as much as this may shock you I often find myself missing Rosalie, I know we never really talked because she hated me but I loved Rosalie as a sister and I wish I could have gotten to know her better to have known why she was always so distant._

_Despite our lack of relationship I knew that she wasn't just beautiful on the outside but beautiful, caring and loving on the inside as well._

_I miss Jasper and even though he always kept his distance from me, I understood. I miss how he used to use his powers into persuading me to go shopping with you and I miss how he used to make me feel excited whenever you wanted to play 'Bella-Barbie'_

_You don't know how much I wish I could go back and just spend one afternoon shopping with you, or to have you play 'Bella-Barbie' just once more. But I can't and so I'll stick with the beautiful painful memories of you poking and plucking at me and scolding me for not staying still._

_And mostly I miss him; there isn't a day that doesn't pass that I don't. I miss the way he smiles, and I miss his laugh and the way he looked at me. I miss the way he used to hum my lullaby when he held me at night; I miss the feeling of his cold arms around me._

_Though he left saying he didn't love me, I know the truth because in the time we were together loved was something I felt whenever I was with him. You can't go from loving someone one day to not the next._

_After you guys left I was broken, and not in a way that I would ever heal from. I stopped talking to our friends, I stopped talking to everyone. You've seen those zombie movies? Well that was what I was like, I walked, talked but I didn't feel and I didn't for a very long time._

_After four months of nothing Charlie started to worry, and so to get him off my back I started hanging out with Jacob Black. I don't know if you remember him but he came to the school a few times, anyway he's from the reservation down at La Push and he's also a werewolf… he took away my pain Alice, he made me feel again._

_I married Jacob when he turned eighteen; I think it's pretty funny how I always attract the younger guys but that's a different story._

_We were together for four years until he imprinted, basically he feel in love. He tried to make us work but in the end I left him, I didn't love him and I wasn't cruel enough to keep him from someone who did._

_So after I divorced I moved to Jacksonville and attended college. I became a teacher and after fifteen years I became principle and remained so until I was sixty-three. I never remarried and I never had children._

_You remember Angela Webber? Well she and Ben married after college and they moved to Jacksonville. After I retired I went into business with Angela and we helped the homeless in ways that no one else could or would._

_We gave them education and a place to stay, the mayor had been thankful for everything we had done and named us the 'Jacksonville saints'_

_Angela died almost eight years ago; she had nine children, fourteen grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. I'm a god-mother to all of them. Ben passed away last year and now I guess it's my time._

_I hope to see you before I die, but if that doesn't happen then I want you to know that I love you and I'll never stop. And if by some chance I end up at those golden gates I'll be sure to put in a good word for all of you because no one deserves heaven as much as you Cullen's do._

_I'm getting tired now so I'm going to end this letter, I love you all with every fibre of my heart and I wish you all a happy forever._

_All My Love_

_Isabella Marie Swan._

I signed off and folded it tucking it away in the draw; I'll get Erin to get me an envelope when she comes in from lunch. I snuggled down in my hospital bed and let sleep over take me, my dreams were filled with happy memories of the Cullen's.

**Alice Cullen**

"_Excuse me; we're looking for a Ms Isabella Swan." Carlisle said when we reached the front desk. I was beside him and I looked horrible, like I had been dry sobbing for hours, which I probably was._

"_Are you family of Bella's?" the women asked looking over us._

"_We are, I'm Dr Carlisle Cullen. Bella's an old friend of mine." Carlisle explained._

_A woman from the end of the counter walked over to us. "Bella's sleeping right now, but I'm sure she'll wake up soon. If you like I'll take you to sit with her." She offered walking around the desk. We both nodded and followed her down the halls. "I'm Erin; I've been Bella's nurse for the last three weeks."_

"_I'm Carlisle, this is my daughter Alice." Carlisle said holding my hand._

_The girl smiled kindly. "It's nice to meet you, I'm glad she'll have someone here with her. The doctors don't think she'll last the week." Just as she said this she walked into a room and moved to the side allowing us in._

_There, lying in a bed was an old lady. She was beautiful but paler then a vampire. Her hair was a mix of white and grays, she looked so peaceful sleeping and if I didn't have super hearing and if the heart monitor wasn't there, I'd have thought she was dead._

"_She's been dropping in and out every now and again, her heart's getting weaker and weaker every day." Erin said running her hand over her face. "She's a real treat, a lovely lady."_

I froze in the isle dropping the small basket I had been carrying. "Oh god, please no." I sobbed backing into a wall staring off into the distance.

I was getting weird glances from the people walking past but I didn't care, I pulled myself together and walked out of the store. I got into my car and drove to the hospital; I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. Eighty years of not seeing her future I was hit with that, I wanted to run home and curl up with Jasper but Carlisle and I needed to leave now.

**20 Minutes later**

"Alice, what are you doing here?" Carlisle asked when he saw me walking up to him; he was standing at the front desk checking off a patient. "Alice what's wrong? Did something happen, is everyone okay?" he asked becoming panicky.

I broke down sobbing when he touched me, he pulled me into his chest as I sobbed holding onto him. "We n-need t-to g-go."I sobbed into his chest.

"Alice, Shh, go where? You're scaring me." He admitted as I continued to sob, I knew we were getting weird glances from patients and the doctors but I couldn't seem to control my sobs.

"Carlisle, its Bella… she's dying, we need to go and be with her." I said pulling away. "I saw it, we have to go now."

He looked shocked but complied; he signed out and said he didn't know when he'd be back. Then he called home and told Esme that something had come up and that we'd be back as soon as possible. He didn't give her any details just that he'd call.

"What did you see Alice?" Carlisle asked during the plane ride.

"I saw us go into a hospital. I saw a girl named Erin and I saw her tell us that the doctors didn't think that Bella would last the week and I saw her take us to Bella's room where she laid." Carlisle wrapped his arm around me again and held me as I came apart.

"Did you see the others?"

"No, I only saw us walking in."

"Maybe Bella will want the others there." Carlisle said hopefully.

**Hospital in Jacksonville**

Carlisle and I walked into the hospital hand in hand and walked up to the front desk. "Excuse me; we're looking for a Ms Isabella Swan." Carlisle said when we reached the front desk.

"Are you family of Bella's?" the women asked looking over us.

"We are; I'm Dr Carlisle Cullen. Bella's an old friend of mine." Carlisle explained.

The woman from my vision walked over to us with a friendly smile. "Bella's sleeping right now, but I'm sure she'll wake up soon. If you like I'll take you to sit with her." She offered walking around the desk. We both nodded and followed her down the halls. "I'm Erin; I've been Bella's nurse for the last three weeks."

"I'm Carlisle, this is my daughter Alice." Carlisle said holding my hand.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm glad she'll have someone here with her. The doctors don't think she'll last the week." She pushed the door open and walked in holding it wider for us to walk through.

Just like my vision Bella was in the bed, she was definitely not the eighteen year old girl I remember playing 'Bella-Barbie' with but she was still beautiful, just old and gray.

"She's been dropping in an out every now and again, her heart's getting weaker and weaker every day." Erin said running her hand over her face. "She's a real treat, a lovely lady."

Carlisle walked over to the bed and took her hand. "That she is, I'm so sorry Bella."

I walked over and stood beside him, I couldn't believe this was really happening. It wasn't meant to be like this, she was meant to be nineteen years old and living with us forever. She was meant to be at Edward's side for the rest of eternity but instead she was lying in a bed dying.

Erin left saying she'd be back after work to check on her and she'd see us later, Carlisle went to read her chart at the end of the bed while I took her hand and just watched over her. After twenty minutes she started to stir, I ran my hand over her forehead and watched as she slowly opened her eyes.

She looked confused and shocked seeing me but then her eyes moved to Carlisle. "Alice, Carlisle? What are you doing here?" She croaked out as she looked around and reached for her water bottle. I reached over and got it for her stopping her from moving. "Thanks Alice."

I smiled sadly and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I had a vision of us coming to a hospital, and then I saw you sleeping. Carlisle and I left and came straight here."

"How are you Bella?" Carlisle asked walking to the other side of the bed to take her hand.

She smiled and a single tear fell down her pale cheek. "I'm dying; and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel about that or how I feel."

Carlisle wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm so sorry Bella, I wish I could go back and change you when I had the chance. But I honestly thought he would wake up and go back to you." Carlisle admitted in defeat.

She smiled and reached her hand out to cup his cheek. "It's okay Carlisle, I understand. Don't beat yourself up."

He placed his hand over hers holding her to him. "We're here for you, until the end."

She smiled and tapped his cheek. "You don't have to, I'm sure you have work to get back to."

"Bella we're staying here with you, I left you once, I won't do it again." I said looking her straight in the eyes as I said this. "You're my best friend."

"In the top draw there's an envelope can you give it to me." She asked nodding to the white draw beside her bed.

'Alice Cullen' was written on the front in Bella's surprisingly neat writing.

"I wrote it yesterday, I had hoped I'd see you again to give it to you personally." She explained. "Don't open it until _after_ I'm gone, promise me Ali?"

I nodded placing it on top of my bag. "I promise, can I ask what's in it?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "No, you'll find out when you read it. There should be another one in there for Edward; I didn't plan on giving that to him personally so I hope you'll give it to him for me."

"Would you like to give it to him personally?" Carlisle asked looking at her intently looking for any sign of being able to call the others, I knew he hated not being able to have Esme here with him so she could say goodbye.

"I'd love to see him again, but I hate the thought of him seeing me old." She admitted trying to make it a joke even though I knew she would love to see him one last time. Maybe I should let Carlisle call him just so he could come and see what he's done.

"He wouldn't care if your old or not, he loves you Bella."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "He would be very upset if he wasn't here with you, and I'm sure Esme would love to be here as well."

I saw her eyelids drooping as she shook her head. "I'll be fine by myself… " she said before she drifted off to sleep. Carlisle sighed and ran a hand over her forehead.

"Call them, Edward needs to see her and more importantly she needs to see him." I said looking down at the letter, I longed to read it while she was sleeping but I promised.

**Edward Cullen**

"_Esme do you think you and the family could catch the next plane to Jacksonville?"_Carlisle's voice came through the phone.

"Sure, but is everything okay?" Esme asked concerned, she had been worrying about Carlisle and Alice since he called two days ago telling us they'd be home soon.

"_No, it's not okay"_he answered sounding upset. _"We're in the hospital, and Alice and I need you guys here."_

At the mention of Alice needing us there Jasper stopped playing halo with Bree and took the phone from Esme. "Is everything okay, is Alice okay? Can I talk to her?"

"_No son, she's inside. She could really use your strength right now; I'll meet you all at the front entrance. And tell Edward to hunt before he comes."_

"Okay, we're leaving now." Jasper said before hanging up.

**Hospital**

"Why the hell are we here?" Rosalie asked as we began walking towards the front doors.

"Because Carlisle said he needed us." Esme said looking around for Carlisle.

"I wonder why, do you think Alice had a vision of him changing someone?" Bree asked looking around in wonder and confusion. She was the youngest and was almost as annoying as Alice but she was just as loved and filled the void that was missing since Bella.

"I don't know why we're here, but if my Alice needs me then I'm here." Jasper said confidently, just then Carlisle came out of the doors and walked straight to Esme.

He was blocking me out and I could tell he was angry, but I couldn't figure out at who. He pulled back and without a word led us into the hospital and up to the second floor. When we reached a door he turned to me and pushed the door open, we all filed into the room and what I saw broke my heart.

Lying on the bed was my sister, cuddled up into the side of an old lady. The lady's heart beat was weak and I could tell that she was dying, she had a few days at the most but as I allowed myself to breathe in, the most luscious scent assaulted my senses.

"No… " I growled as I realized just who the old lady was in the bed, it was my Bella.

Carlisle turned to me with such hatred and anger in his eyes. "Do you see this? It's because of you. If you hadn't of been so stubborn and pig headed you'd have seen that she belonged with us. My daughter is lying in that bed because you wouldn't change her!" he growled his eyes black with his anger.

"Carlisle… " Esme said placing a hand on his chest.

"No, Esme, she loves him and he doesn't deserve it! You gave up your only chance at happiness son, and now we've all got to face the consequences… "

"Carlisle… " this time it wasn't Esme's voice but Bella's. "Don't make me spend my last hours listening to you two fight, since you've gone against what I asked you can you let him in so I can see his handsome face." She laughed sitting up in bed, Alice wrapped her arms around her and pulled her up into a sitting position. "Well come here."

I walked over to the side of the bed that Alice wasn't on and took her hand. "I'm so sor… "

Her hand came up to rest on my lips her chocolate eyes blazing with a fire I had only sweet memories of. "Don't you dare apologize, what is done is done. I don't want you to be sorry; I don't want to hear you tell me how sorry you are because it won't change anything Edward."

I sighed in defeat and nodded. "I never meant what I said all those years ago, love."

"I know, but I don't want to think about it anymore." She said seriously. "I don't want to dwell on the past anymore, so why don't you all tell me what you've been doing." She asked looking around the room her eyes settling on Bree.

"That's Bree; she's our new little sister." I explained.

**Isabella Swan POV**

I woke up to the sound of little Izzy's voice in my ear. "Nana wakes up please."

I smiled at the sound of her tiny voice. "Izzy what are you doing, leave Bella alone." Gavin's voice growled from across the room.

"Trying to wake Nana, she should be awake it's rude to sleep when you have quests… " she said in an innocent voice repeating the words I'd often told her whenever she slept over.

"I'm awake." I chuckled weakly opening my eyes to see the Cullen's and the Webbers in the room. I looked at Izzy as she smiled widely. "Good evening Princess."

"Afternoon Nana, you're being very lazy." She said shaking her head. "You shouldn't sleep all day; it's very bad for you."

I heard a collective amount of chuckles. "Is that so?"

"Yep." She said popping on the 'P' nodding her head like a bobble head causing her dark curls to fall around her face as they bounced with her movements.

I chuckled and tucked her brown hair behind her head, she looked just like Angela. "Well I don't want to be rude or lazy now do I?" I said kissing her forehead before turning to her mother. "Has the paper work gone through?"

When Angela died her half of the shelter went to Ben, and then when he died he left his half to their granddaughter Angela Marie Webber. And now that I'm dying I'm also leaving my half to her.

She sighed and moved her six month old son to her other hip. "It's all done; I seriously have no idea how the hell I'm going to run this thing without you." She got a little teary eyed.

"You'll be fine; we wouldn't have trusted you with it if we didn't think so." I said strongly. "Has everyone met?" I asked looking around the room.

"Yes, Angela is Ben and Angie's granddaughter right?" Alice said from my side.

"That's right… " I started to say but stopped when Izzy asked me a question.

"Nana are you going to live with Poppy in heaven?" I looked back down at her and saw she had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. "I don't want you to leave, do you have to go?"

I looked at Angela as she cried silently into little Gavin's hair; I sighed and patted my lap for Izzy to sit in. "I do, but I'll always be in here with you." I said touching her heart. "Okay?"

She buried her head in my chest and nodded. "I'll miss you."

I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes. "I'll miss you too, all of you. But you're going to be fine, and you'll be a good girl for mommy and daddy right?"

She nodded weakly into my chest. "I will."

**Next day**

I could hardly keep my eyes open but I needed to make sure Edward didn't do anything stupid. I turned my head to the side and saw Edward sitting in a chair beside the bed with his eyes closed.

"E-Edward?" I croaked out, if he had of been human I'm not sure he would have heard me.

"I'm here love, I'm right here." Edward said taking my hand in his.

I tried to smile but I couldn't, I could feel the heart monitor slowing down and I knew I was dying. "I love you… " I whispered.

He rested his forehead against mine. "I love you too." He whispered, he leaned down and kissed my lips. I kissed him back weakly. "It's going to be okay."

I shook my head and lifted my free hand to cup his hand. "No, it's not. I want you to promise me something."

"Anything… " he said without hesitating.

I smiled thinking about all those years ago how I had done the same thing. "Don't do anything stupid or reckless, don't go to the Volturi and ask them to kill you. Promise me, Edward that you'll be okay."

He shook his head. "I can't promise Bella… "

"I kept mine, I did what you asked me to and I tried to live a normal life. Now I'm dying and you won't make me the same promise?" I knew I wasn't playing fairly but I wouldn't die until he promised me. "All you have to do is stay safe, and look after your family. They need you, and I need to know you'll be safe and alive before I can pass on."

His eyes searched mine as he finally nodded. "I promise."

I smiled and turned to Alice who was sitting beside me. "Look after him, and feel free to kick his ass if he tries anything." I said weakly I could feel my eyes dropping but I fought. "I love you Ali, forever."

She stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'll love you forever too Bella." She whispered pulling back to run her hand over my cheek. "You can go now, I promise to take care of everything."

I smiled and looked back at Edward one last time, committing his face to memory. "You'll find love again, my love. You just need to have faith." I whispered as my eyes dropped. I could hear the monitor getting slower and before I knew it I could hear the line go flat.

(Bella's Spirit/Ghost)

_I looked on as I watched the final moments of my life; Edward's forehead was on mine as he held my hand. His shoulders shaking with sobs, I walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. As I raised my hand I saw that it wasn't old or wrinkly, it was small and young… I grabbed a lock of my hair and gasped at the feeling of how soft and smooth it was, I looked at the lock of hair and saw it was no longer gray and white but the beautiful rich chocolate colour._

"_I love you Bella." I heard Edward whisper bringing my attention back to him._

_I placed my hand on his shoulder knowing he wouldn't feel it; I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I'll forever love you, Edward Cullen. Remember your promise."_

"_I promise, love." He whispered kissing my forehead again._

_I heard my name being called and I turned to see a white hallway, I looked back around the room and saw the Cullen's all holding someone as they sobbed. I wanted to go back to Edward but I felt a hand come down on my shoulder._

"_He'll be okay Bells, but it's time for you to join us." I looked up to see my father Charlie smiling down at me. He was handsome just like he was when I was little. "Come on Bells, let's go join our family."_

_I took his hand and nodded to myself. "I love you, my love." I called before turning to follow Charlie down the white halls._

_As we passed through the halls I saw my family, my friends but as we reached the end I saw Renee, Phil, Angela, Ben and there were another couple who I didn't know, but I had a feeling they were Edward's parents._

"_This is Edward sir and his wife Elizabeth." Charlie said as we passed them. "They're a part of you because you're a part of their son. You're his soul-mate."_

_I chuckled bitterly and turned to look behind me. "Then why am I here and not with him?"_

"_Because your destiny changed, and you were needed elsewhere." Renee said walking towards me. "But never fear my dear, you and Edward will meet again someday."_

_I smiled hopefully and watched as the door closed blocking off my view of Edward and the Cullen's. With a sigh I took a moment to look around, I raised an eyebrow and saw I was back in Forks with my family._

"_Heaven is what you want it to be, Bella." Angela said walking up to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Forks is your heaven, go and enjoy it sweetie."_

_And I did, I spent my time in heaven reminiscing on my best memories in forks. The meadow was the first place I went to, and I was happy to find that Edward was there, not in spirit but in the memory. If this was what heaven was like then I was going to enjoy it, it might not have been as good as the real thing but I'd take what I could get._

"_Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" Edward asked rolling onto his side to face me, he lifted his hand to brush a finger and thumb over my cheek._

_I leaned into his touch and smiled up into his honey topaz eyes. "No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you." I whispered leaning forward to kiss him, but unlike in reality he didn't pull back he rolled on his back and pulled me with him._

_Edward rolled us over and hovered above me. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb… "_

_I grinned and trailed my index finger along his jaw. "What a stupid lamb."_

_He chuckled sadistically and pecked my lips. "What a sick, masochistic lion."_

**THE END**

**Okay I wrote this a few weeks ago, i wasn't going to post it but then i decided why not see what you guys think. So i sent it to Chloe and asked for her opinion she said it was good and even made her cry, she asked if i was going to do a second part but i'm still undecided about it. if i do write a part 2 you guys will be the first to know.**

**Please, Please, Please Review and share your thoughts on the O/S. (Banner Found On Profile!)**

**Much Love To All Of My Readers & Be sure to keep your eyes open for a new chapter in Chicago Secret, coming soon! Many more great chapters and stories to come so once again REMEMBER TO REVIEW!**

**Later My Lovely Readers**


	2. Love isn't something u can throw away

***~*~*~*One-Shot Part 2*~*~*~***

**EPOV**

I sat in the back with the rest of my family at the church as six man walked down the aisle carrying Bella's casket down to the end so it sat up on the stage, the church was packed and there were even people outside on the streets holding candles.

I don't know why but Bella's funeral was being held at night, apparently it was because she wanted to be buried under the stars.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." Bella's voice whispered in my ear, it was as if I was feeling her breath on my neck. I closed my eyes and thought about the words again, and again. It was then that it hit me.

**Flash back**

_Bella had just finished telling me in detail about her room, when she stopped waiting for me to ask another question._

_"Are you finished?" Bella asked sounding relieved._

_I couldn't help but smirk as I looked at her from the corner of my eye. "Not even close, but your father will be home soon."_

_"Charlie!" she said surprised, she had been so engrossed in our one sided conversation that she'd forgotten all about him. She looked out at the rain-darkened sky and sighed. "How late is it?" Bella wondered to no one in particular._

_"It's Twilight," I murmured looking over at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. I could feel her eyes burning into my face but when I turned my head back to look at her a beautiful blush crept up her cheeks at being caught._

_I held back the amused laugh I felt and spoke. "It's the safest time of day for us," I said answering the unspoken question shining in her eyes. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way – the ending of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I smiled wistfully._

_Her answer was not something I had thought of. "I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." She said frowning. "Not that you see them here much."_

_I couldn't help but laugh and felt the tension slip away from us. I could hear Charlie's thoughts getting closer and I knew we had to go our own way unless… "Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…" I trailed off raising one eyebrow._

_She smirked and shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks." She said gathering up her books. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?" she asked looking up to meet my eyes._

_"Certainly not!" I said pretending to be outraged. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"_

_"What more is there?"_

_"You'll find out tomorrow." I said reaching across her to open the door, my lips quirked as I heard her heart go into a frenzied palpitation._

**End of flash back**

Esme wrapped an arm around my shoulders as a sob broke from my chest, Carlisle was right I didn't deserve Bella's love. I never did and I knew it, but I was stupid and pig headed to leave her because even though I may not have deserved her love, I had it. I had it and I ruined it, I should have gone back.

"Today we're here in remembrance of Isabella Marie Swan. Last week on February eighth we lost her to a burden called old age, at ninety-eight she lived a great long life and she will be missed dearly." The priest said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Bella wasn't just a friend to me, she was much more. I've known Bella my whole life, she was there the day I took my first steps, she was there with my first words and she was there my first day of school and she stood with my parents at my graduation. S-she was a great woman and there are no words for how much my family and I will miss her."

"My daughter Angela would like to say a few words, and then we'll hear from Bella's best friend and ex-husband Jacob Black." The priest said as the young women from the hospital walked up onto the stage.

The women stood in front of the microphone and took a deep breath. "Like my father said Bella had a great long life, she filled it with the people she loved and cared for. She spent her whole life caring and watching over others even complete strangers. She'd take them in and nurse them back to health. Her heart was pure; her love for all things great and small was immense. I will miss her dearly.

"When I was twenty-one, I had a fight with my husband Gavin." She chuckled and looked over the crowd. "I broke up with him, and it hurt so much I couldn't feel anything besides pain. I went to see grandmother because I just needed a hug, when I walked in I found Nana Angie and Nana Bells sitting on the couch."

"I sat down and I told them everything, when I was done Nana Bells took my hands and looked me in the eyes. She stared at me for so long, without speaking after about five minutes she finally spoke and her words will forever haunt me, she said and I quote-

"'I've felt real love, I've felt the high of it and I've felt the pain of losing it. When you have felt real love everything else pales in comparison, don't make the same mistakes I did. Fight, fight for your love because what you and Gavin have is real, it's what stories are made of. It is what I wish I had never lost, get off your ass and go find your man.'"

She chuckled and brushed a tear away. "That was the night I truly wondered what my Nana had lost, I never would have thought it because to everyone she was this kind old lady that had a heart so pure that she made saints look dirty. I followed my Nana's orders and I went and found my man, he and I are married now and have two beautiful babies. I owe everything I have today to her, if she hadn't of given me that push I don't want to think of what would have happened.

"I shared this because my Nana's words stopped me from making a mistake, and I want you all to take a good hard look at the ones you love and I want you to promise that no matter how hard things get that you will fight for the love of your family, your wife or husband, your children and their children. Fight because love isn't a thing to be taken lightly, love is gold and each and every one of us deserves it."

I rested my head in my hands as I heard all the thoughts of those around me, I would be lying if I said I didn't like seeing what Bella had been doing all these years, but each and every memory showed the same thing.

Her eyes, though they showed happiness, love and laughter underneath it was pain. A pain so raw that it almost brought me to a sobbing mess on the floor, how these people never saw it I'll never know but maybe I could see it because I was the reason it was there.

"I've known Bells my whole life, she and I grew up together. In the summer when she'd come back to Forks we'd make mud pies with my two elder sisters, Rachel and Rebecca." I looked up at the stage and saw an old man. He had long gray hair sitting on his shoulders. "When Bella came back to Forks when she was seventeen, she brought my dad's old beat up truck; she loved it though it was a piece of crap. We hung out a little but it wasn't until she had her 'breakup breakdown' as I like to call it. That we started spending everyday together; slowly I began to fall in love with her and I thought just maybe she could love me the way I loved her."

His eyes locked with mine as he spoke. "But she had felt 'real love' as Angela just called it. Though I knew she loved me as a friend she could never really love me as she loved him, he broke something in her and I don't think she ever really healed from it." Jacob Black! It hit me with a shock.

'I wish I could kill you' Jacob thoughts growled. "But I know my Bella better than anyone and I know she fought hard to hide her pain, I know she probably cried herself to sleep most nights when she was alone." He walked over to the casket and placed a hand over the white coffin. "I know that My Bella is in a better place but that's not going to stop me from missing her." He leaned down and kissed the casket and whispered. "I'm going to miss you baby and I'm an old dog now so I know I'll see you on the other side soon."

If I hadn't of been a vampire I wouldn't have caught that, but I did.

**One Week Later**

"Edward?" Alice said moving over to sit in the empty spot next to me. "I have a letter for you, it's from Bella." She whispered holding out an envelope.

The front read, To My Dearest Edward

"If you want I can sit with you, I haven't opened mine yet but I think I'll open it downstairs with the others." Alice said in a small voice, she had been crying ever since we left Jacksonville.

"I think I'd like to read it alone," I said but grabbed Alice's hand as she stood. "I know you hate me, and I hate myself even more. I-I'm sorry for everything Ali, I loved her so much that in trying to do the right thing I hurt all of us."

Alice placed a hand on my shoulder and rested her forehead on mine. "I'll never forgive you for what you've done, Edward." Alice whispered. "But you're my brother and I love you, and B-Bella wouldn't want me to hate you so I can't." 'I wish I could, but I can't… I should have done something sooner, I should have gone back and I should have changed her myself. But I didn't. This is just as much my fault as it is his.'

"You didn't because of me, don't blame yourself." I whispered brokenly.

She nodded and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to go open mine, I love you Edward."

I didn't say anything as she left; looking down at the letter in my hand I stood and ran. I ran until I reached the cliffs and I was completely alone, I sat down on the edge and looked up at the skies. Years ago I'd have thought this beautiful but ever since I left Bella nothing could quite catch my attention.

_To My Dearest Edward_

_I don't know if you'll get this but if somehow Alice has gotten hers then she'd have found yours with it and given it to you. You know when you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other; well I'm sort of dealing with that._

_The Angel (Coral) is telling me you deserve to know what I've been doing the last eighty years. And you deserve to know that I forgive you for everything and that no matter what I'll always love you._

_While the Devil (Jane), is telling me not to write this because you don't deserve it? You left me without any reminder of you at all; you left me with nothing but a broken heart and a promise to never see me again and it being as if you never existed._

_That was a stupid promise to make Edward, and I just thought I should let you know that. When you left you told me to move on and have a normal happy life- I kept my promises to be safe and try to move on to have a normal life, however I could never truly be happy but I did try, boy did I try. I did marry; well it wasn't to a normal husband because Jacob Black was a wolf. _

_I didn't love him, well not the way I loved you. Jacob took my pain, Edward, he took me in and tried to fix me in hopes I'd love him the way he loved me. Do you have any idea how much I hated myself because I knew I could never love him the way he wanted? Here Jacob was standing in front of me with his heart in his hands asking me to love him and I couldn't, because I still loved you and I hoped you'd come back but you never did._

_Jacob sat by me and held me every time I broke down; I wanted an escape of the pain and the only way to do that was through him. When Jacob was with me i didn't hear your voice; i didn't see you in my mind- i was free of the pain for a little while. So I collected the little love I could conger up and I offered it to him, and he took it even though he knew I could never fully love him as he loved me. We married when he turned eighteen; he was two years younger than I am, so I was twenty._

_We were together four years when he imprinted; Jacob's imprint was a lovely girl named Vanessa. She was really sweet, and I knew they were perfect for each other. He tried to make our marriage work but in the end I left him, I was a selfish girl Edward but I was not heartless even though at times I did question if I still had a heart or if you'd taken it with you._

_After our divorce I moved to Jacksonville, there I went to college and I became a teacher. After fifteen years as an English high school teacher, I loved it. When I was sixty-three I retired and went into business with Angela Webber, we had been friends for a long time and during my time with Jacob I was able to rekindle some sort of relationship with her. We opened up a shelter and helped the homeless, we did things that a lot of people couldn't or wouldn't do. We gave them education, and slowly got them stable enough to be able to survive in the real world._

_Every day I thought of you and everyday it hurt but lately in the last year maybe? Whenever I think of you and your family it always puts a smile on face, and it puts me in some sort of ease. While I'm writing this I'm sitting in a hospital bed, they just moved me to this little room. They have some sort of special name but I call it the "Last Ride" room. I'm dying so I think it's a perfect name considering these walls will be the last thing I see. I'm writing you this because I need you to promise me something Edward, do you remember all those years ago, on my eighteenth birthday when you told me about the Volturi?_

_You said that if anything ever happened to me you'd go to them and ask them to kill you? Well like you did Edward, I'm going to ask this of you._

_"Don't do anything stupid or reckless, not for my sake but for your family." I cannot bear the thought of you doing such a thing, your family need you and I need to know you'll be safe. Just because my life is coming to an end doesn't mean yours has to. So I'm asking you to be strong and stay with your family, please do not take your own life Edward. I kept my promise and I expect you to do the same, I won't be giving you this in person so I won't be able to look into your eyes and know if you'll keep it or not. But I'm hoping, and I have faith that you will._

_I love you Edward Cullen, and despite what you may think you do deserve love and I hope that one day you'll find it again, but hopefully you won't let it go so easily. This is not goodbye we will meet again my love, until then be strong and stay safe._

_All My Love, Isabella Marie Swan_

_You're Bella XOXO_

I stared off into the sky seeing nothing, hearing nothing, feeling nothing it was almost too good to feel nothing but then with the speed of a vampire I was doubled over and screaming in pain.

This is my fault, this is my fault! I cried and sobbed throwing a tantrum like a five year old child and fell to my knees, ripping at my hair as scream after scream broke out of me. I rocked back and forward and held myself as more pain came through me, everything it was as if I was feeling her pain on top of my own.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I knew in an instant that they were Carlisle's, he held me to him as sobs and screams came from my throat. "Shhh… son its okay, let it out." Carlisle whispered into my hair holding me as I continued to sob.

Carlisle was right I didn't deserve it, I never did he should have let me die all those years ago in Chicago. Everything would have been better if he had of let me go; everyone I care about dies or gets hurt. My parents, my Bella and my family! Everyone I touch I hurt, how could a creature like me ever deserve love.

**WARNING- It's the letter to Alice that Bella wrote but this way you get to read their reactions; i wasn't going to keep the letter but i changed my mind.**

**CPOV**

I sat on the couch and listened as Alice opened the letter.

"Year 2088, February 5th

To My Dearest Alice,

I don't know if you'll get this, or if you'll even see me writing it. But I'm going to write this anyway, I have things I need to tell you.

First off I want to tell you how much I miss you, you're my best friend and that'll never change no matter how long we've been apart. If by some chance you see me writing this then you'll know where I am and you'll come and say goodbye.

I'm dying Ali and I'm ashamed to say I'm scared, I will understand if you don't come and see me one last time. So if you don't come hopefully you'll still get this, and know how much I miss not only you but all of you."

Alice stopped reading and covered her mouth as sobs threatened to break her chest, Jasper took the letter from her hand and pulled her into his side as he began reading.

"I miss Carlisle and the way he used to smile kindly whenever I came to the house, I miss the way he'd shake his head whenever I tripped and chuckled whenever he saw I had a new bruise from falling."

I laughed into Esme's hair as I remembered the few times. "She was so clumsy."

"I'm surprised she made it 98, I was sure she'd have fallen over something and broken her neck." Emmett laughed holding Rosalie, she hadn't really spoken since they came to the hospital and I had no idea what she was thinking.

"She was definitely clumsy." Jasper agreed with a sad smile. "I'm continuing now."

"I miss Esme and the loving hugs she used to give me whenever she saw me; I miss how she used to cook for me whenever I came over for the day. I love Esme as if she was a mother and I'll always love and think of her as such."

"I'll always think of her as my daughter." Esme whispered burying her head in my chest. Jasper smiled sadly but continued when no one else interrupted him.

"I miss Emmett and the way he used to tease me about everything just to see me blush, I miss the way he would pick me up in a bear hug and swing me around and I miss the cute double dimple smile he'd wear whenever Carlisle or Edward would scold him for being so rough."

Emmett laughed at that. "She was so beautiful when she blushed, and it was always fun to tease her!"

Jasper laughed and nodded his head. "Yeah, she really was quite the beauty when she blushed." He looked at the letter and raised an eyebrow. "Um – can I continue?" we all nodded eager to see what had made him look so shocked or surprised would be a better word.

"And as much as this may shock you I often find myself missing Rosalie-"

"What!" we all said in shock, Rosalie looked stunned.

"C-Can I read this part?" she asked in a small voice, I was pretty sure that was the first time she had spoken to anyone besides Emmett in days.

Jasper handed her the letter and she curled up into Emmett's side and continued where Jasper left off.

"I know we never really talked because she hated me but I loved Rosalie as a sister and I wish I could have gotten to know her better to have known why she was always so distant. To know what I did to make her hate me so much."

"Oh god, did she really think I hated her?" Rosalie asked looking shocked and guilty.

"Well you weren't exactly welcoming, Rosalie!" Sneered Alice as she glared at her sister.

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice and pulled her into his lap. "Calm down love, and Rosalie keep reading there's more there than just that." Jasper said giving Rosalie an encouraging smile.

Rosalie let out a small sad sigh before she looked back to the page and read.

"Despite our lack of relationship I knew that she wasn't just beautiful on the outside but beautiful, caring and loving on the inside as well."

"See even though you were a little stuck up sometimes, Bella still saw the good in you." Emmett said as if Rosalie should be real happy with it, and in a away she should be but I know that if I was her I'd still feel guilty for having Bella think that I hated her.

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel _so_ much better Emmett." Rosalie muttered under her breathe. Rosalie handed the letter back to Jasper, he looked around to see if anyone else wanted to read but I was happy to let him continue and no one else stepped forward to read so he did.

"I miss Jasper and even though he always kept his distance from me, I understood. I miss how he used to use his powers into persuading me to go shopping with you and I miss how he used to make me feel excited whenever you wanted to play 'Bella-Barbie.'"

We all laughed at that because Bella hated playing 'Bella-Barbie' and she hated shopping for anything but her hatred seemed to double when Alice dragged her to go with her.

"Jazzy, can I please read it now?" Alice asked still snuggled up in Jaspers chest. She turned a little and held the letter in her hands while Jaspers arms wrapped around her waist. 'Go on love' he whispered.

"You don't know how much I wish I could go back and just spend one afternoon shopping with you, or to have you play 'Bella-Barbie' just once more. But I can't and so I'll stick with the beautiful painful memories of you poking and plucking at me and scolding me for not staying still."

Alice smiled sadly and closed her eyes. "I wish I could go back in time." She whispered before opening her eyes and continuing.

"And mostly I miss him; there isn't a day that doesn't pass that I don't. I miss the way he smiles, and I miss his laugh and the way he looked at me. I miss the way he used to hum my lullaby when he held me at night; I miss the feeling of his cold arms around me.

"Though he left saying he didn't love me, I know the truth because in the time we were together loved was something I felt whenever I was with him. You can't go from loving someone one day to not the next."

"He told her he didn't love her?" I asked angry beyond relief, why would he do such a thing?

"It would have been the only way she would have let him go." Jasper said looking up to meet my eyes. "She always believed that someone like him could never truly love her, so he played on her beliefs."

Alice shook her head and looked at me. "I saw it Carlisle, she wasn't going to let him go unless he told her that he didn't love her, and when he did she believed him." Alice shook her head. "I saw it and I almost believed it because the look on his face was emotionless and his eyes were black. For the first time I saw my brother as a monster."

I held out my hand for the letter before leaning back in my seat.

"After you guys left I was broken, and not in a way that I would ever heal from. I stopped talking to our friends, I stopped talking to everyone. You've seen those zombie movies? Well that was what I was like, I walked, talked but I didn't feel and I didn't for a very long time.

"After four months of nothing Charlie started to worry, and so to get him off my back I started hanging out with Jacob Black. I don't know if you remember him but he came to the school a few times, anyway he's from the reservation down at La Push and he's also a werewolf…"

"WHAT!" Alice screamed. "She married a fucking wolf?"

"Wait, wasn't Jacob Black that old guy who spoke at the funeral?" Esme asked looking up at me.

"Yeah, Black? You don't think that it was those Quileute wolves do you?" I asked looking around at my family.

"The ones we made the treaty with way back when." Emmett said with a shrug. "Possibly, wasn't the alpha back then Ephraim Black?"

"Yeah – I'm going to continue unless anyone else wants to?" I asked looking around; no one spoke up so I continued.

"He took away my pain Alice, he made me feel again.

"I married Jacob when he turned eighteen; I think it's pretty funny how I always attract the younger guys but that's a different story.

"We were together for four years until he imprinted, basically he feel in love. He tried to make us work but in the end I left him, I didn't love him and I wasn't cruel enough to keep him from someone who did.

"So after we divorced I moved to Jacksonville and attended college. I became a teacher and after fifteen years I became principle and remained so until I was sixty-three. I never remarried and I never had children."

"Why didn't she have children? She was supposed to, I know if I was her I would-" Rosalie began to rant when Alice cut her off.

"Bella wasn't you Rosalie, she was Bella." She growled as Rosalie got up from the couch.

"Okay, come on girls, let Carlisle read." Emmett said pulling Rosalie back down onto the couch. Jasper nodded for me to continue when both the girls were calm and relaxed.

"You remember Angela Webber? Well she and Ben married after college and they moved to Jacksonville. After I retired I went into business with Angela and we helped the homeless in ways that no one else could or would.

"We gave them education and a place to stay, the mayor had been thankful for everything we had done and named us the 'Jacksonville saints'

"Angela died almost eight years ago; she had nine children, fourteen grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. I'm a god-mother to all of them. Ben passed away last year and now I guess it's my time.

"I hope to see you before I die, but if that doesn't happen then I want you to know that I love you and I'll never stop. And if by some chance I end up at those golden gates I'll be sure to put in a good word for all of you because no one deserves heaven as much as you Cullen's do.

"I'm getting tired now so I'm going to end this letter, I love you all with every fiber of my heart and I wish you all a happy forever.

"All My Love

"Isabella Marie Swan."

We all just sat in silence for god only knows how long; no one said a thing and no one even tried to move. It wasn't until I heard trees breaking in the distance that I was able to move.

"It's Edward; he's just finished reading his letter." Alice said looking out the back door before turning to me with loving, trusting, sad eyes. "I'd go but I-I can't look at him right now, he needs you, his father."

I stood after kissing Esme's forehead and ran out of the Alaska home, I ran until I reached Edward. He was on the forest floor on his knees screaming in pain, I had never, in all my years with Edward, seen him like this. Not even when he first left Bella, I guess this was different she was really gone and she no longer lived on this earth with us.

I walked to my son and dropped down beside him pulling him into my arms as he sobbed and screamed into my chest, his arms locking around me as if he was scared of falling. I held him in my arms and rocked us back and forth while whispering, "Shhh… son it's okay, let it out."

I can't tell you how long I stayed holding him but after maybe three day's he finally laid limp in my arms, when I looked into his eyes I saw nothing but pure pain and anguish. "I-I can't live in a world where she doesn't exist." Edward whispered brokenly.

I cupped his face in my hands. "It might be hard now, and it might be hard for a long time but you will Edward. You promised, and this is a promise I won't let you break, this is Bella's dying wish and you will keep it. Do you understand me?"

He stared up into my eyes. "What if it was you? What if you were me and this was Esme?"

"If I was you I'd have gone back a long time ago, I would have begged until she took me back. I'd have tried to make the rest of her human life memorable and then I'd have changed her if that was what she wished, though I'm a kind being I'm very selfish when it comes to my wants and needs." I said looking into my son's eyes. "I would never be able to live without Esme, but if it was her dying wish I'd give it my best shot. You, my son, are going to give it your best shot, this family needs you."

"They shouldn't, I'm a monster."

"No, you're not." I chuckled pulling him up to stand. "You're just a very stubborn boy." I sighed and rested our foreheads together holding him to me. "I'm sorry for what I said before son, I didn't mean it. You do deserve love, everyone does, forgive me?"

"But you were right, I don't deserve it, and I gave up my only chance of ever finding happiness."

**RPOV  
**

She thought I hated her?

I never hated her, granted I never practically liked her either but it was only because of my own pathetic jealousy and envy.

Yes, I, Rosalie Hale, was jealous of a stupid human, why? Well it's simple she, a simple little human, had gotten the attention of the Edward Cullen, don't get me wrong I love Edward as a brother and nothing more but my whole life men have wanted me or at least admired me… every man but Edward.

And then in trips this little brown eyed brunette and he's all over her, well not all over her in the way he'd be getting laid because then he would have surely killed the girl. But I never got it, here I was way more beautiful than her and he falls in love with a human.

Surely you can see why my ego would take such a blow.

And then I find out that this girl wants to be a vampire so she can forever be with Edward, I mean, hello why the hell would you want to be a vampire? Didn't she see what she'd be giving up? She'd never be able to have her own family, or children, she'd be monster? Who would willingly give that up?

Oh wait, Isabella Swan would!

I envied Bella because at eighteen I wanted children, I wanted the married life, and then it was all taken away from me. I envied her because she could have had children if she had chosen, me, I'd never be able to have that. I'd never get to carry Emmett's baby, I'd never be able to hold my own little girl or boy in my arms after giving birth to him or her.

I'd never be able to have the simple joy of watching my baby take their first steps. I'd never hear a child calling me mommy, I'd never get that, and here she was offering to give up her life to become a vampire, if I could have I would have traded places with her.

Though I loved my Emmett, if given the choice of being able to have a second chance at being human I'd have taken it, even if it meant not having Emmett. I could live with that if I was able to have my own little baby.

And though I didn't really like Bella the thought of her thinking I hated her made me feel guilty, maybe if I had of taken the time to get to know Bella and see life from her point of view, maybe, we would have had a better relationship.

"Rosalie." I jumped at the sound of Edward's voice, I turned and looked at him he looked horrible.

"Thanks." He muttered sarcastically.

I smiled sadly. "Always a pleasure to help,"

He nodded and sat down on the window seat. "Bella wasn't like other humans, Rosalie." Edward whispered laying his head on the glass. "She was – I don't know what she was, all the words I can come up with don't seem good enough to describe her." He looked up at me with dead eyes. "And I did notice your beauty but you were never my type, for one your blonde and you're really quite naïve at times.

"But you do have a good heart, when you're not thinking about yourself. I love Bella and I was an idiot, if I could go back in time I'd have changed her at that ballet studio. I should have but I didn't." he looked up at me and sighed. "I lost my chance, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my existence."

'I'm sorry Edward.'

"You shouldn't be, I screwed up and like Carlisle said I have to face the consequences to my actions."

He ran a hand through his hair and stared longingly at the sky. "If I was you Rosalie I'd never let Emmett go, not even for the chance of being human again. Love isn't something you can throw away."

**The End**


End file.
